Do you still have your period?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
