Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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