At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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