then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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