At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
