I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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