the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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