next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
