My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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