so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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