My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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