We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
