just come out here and I will go home with you...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
