did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
