You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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