Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
