She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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