Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
