I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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