So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize