I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
there was a trapeze. enough said
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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