Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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