I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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