Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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