just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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