ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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