i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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