did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is Oprah even human
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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