dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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