Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
