I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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