Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
