Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize