so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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