Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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