take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
