she looked like the before picture.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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