Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
