Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
