I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
