I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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