Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so let's talk penis.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize