I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize