I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
