D3 body, D1 cock
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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