i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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