mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
