just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize