She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize