you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize