I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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