and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
As shirtless as possible
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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