Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
