You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
