I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
