I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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