Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
