Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Found the puke drawer
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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