Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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