the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
