Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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