The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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