i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
porn star boner night. come get it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
