would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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