I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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